–

and all that remains is
the tiniest of cracks
bred from that struggle

that now becomes
the framework of
a doorway to
who we are.

Blessed be the cracks, for that is how the light gets in.

As I witnessed and heard from so many of you last month – the month of the Personal Theme – I was struck by how many of you worked beautifully, intelligently, fearlessly, with material that required a tremendous amount of Faith in your inner strength and courage to change. And what seemed to thread through all of the inquiry and wondering was the one thing that I believe leads to our deepest, most insightful soul-knowing: vulnerability.

So often, particularly in modern, developed cultures, we are taught to be strong and not show ‘weakness’ – in order to prove ourselves, stand strong against the [perceived] competition, and get ahead in the world. In reality, the very opposite thing happens with the accumulation of time, as we layer on the superhero facade: we lose strength, feel exhausted, and end up wondering what we’ve been doing with our lives all this time.

Enter vulnerability. The cracks. Those aspects of ourselves that make us perfectly imperfect, inviting us to learn more about ourselves and stop spending so much energy caulking and cementing in those cracks.

The quote is exactly correct: these cracks are the very thing that let in more light. If we allow our vulnerabilities to show and be felt, they can be our greatest ally and teacher. As we turn to face the cracks in our system, we open to the possibility that we don’t know everything, that we can stand to learn more, and that great teachings can come from outside of us – whether from other people or the greater field of consciousness.

It’s like trying to plug holes in a dam that is ready to break. More cracks will come. It will be harder to fill them up. The amount of energy expended to keep the dam intact will become more than the energy to allow the cracks to seep and tell their stories.

This month, welcome cracks of all kinds: the cracks that you know are there, the ones that you have been trying to plug, the ones that you would like to instigate, and the ones that you didn’t even know were there. Be willing to get cracked wide open, to learn something about yourself that you didn’t know – even if it involves a good measure of the uncomfortable unknown that often comes with the invitation to be vulnerable.

Be curious about what lies beyond the walls of your comfort zone, and the things that you do to try and keep that wall intact. Likewise, be curious about your internal wisdom and how it can help you navigate the tenuous road of vulnerability.

This quote, as sung by Leonard Cohen:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

Friday | 6:30-9:00p

Saturday | 10:00-4:30pm

Sunday | 9:00-2:00pm

Join us for a weekend of exploration as we delve into a deeper understanding of the marriage of Foundation and Flight. Through movement and personal inquiry, we will investigate the essential balance between the part of us that needs to root and connect to Earth, and the part of us that longs to take flight and soar. We will immerse in the questions:

Is Grounding or Flying more my natural state?

How can I more fully balance my natural state with its equal and opposing force?

How does Finding Ground best serve me? How does Taking Flight best serve me?

How can I recognize when I am out of balance – either stagnating or untethered?

What are the movements that best support me to find and maintain the balance that works for me?

What are the spoken intentions and affirmations that assist me in this exploration?

How does this balance shift in the presence of other influences, other people?

While calling on these questions to provide us with a container that allows the mind to be present with us on this journey, we will also release the mind and come into the wisdom of the body and the subconscious, allowing them to act as equal teachers along the way. We will engage throughout the weekend with both movement and stillness, activation and rest.

Bring a journal for tracking your experience.

We will take time on both Saturday and Sunday for a lunch break. Saturday’s break will be longer, allowing you to take in the sacred land that surrounds Starhouse, infusing your weekend with time in Nature. Bring what you need to be safe in the elements of Boulder in late August – anything could happen!
« Learn more about the BodyMantra movement practice

Add To Your Weekend Experience
Work one-on-one with Kimberly before and after the weekend to bring more personalized understanding and integration to your inquiry.
« Read about private sessions with Kimberly

The Starhouse – A Sacred Location
The Starhouse was created with the deepest of intentions to honor the land on which it is built and to provide a space for sacred work to unfold. Please take note of the following details:

• Carpooling is encouraged, as the Starhouse is on private land and endeavors to make the smallest footprint possible – registered participants will be e-mailed in advance of the weekend so that carpooling connections can be made
• Allow plenty of space in your schedule to get to the Starhouse on time, as there is a short walk from the parking lot to the Starhouse itself; approximately 25 minutes from Central Boulder

To learn more about this location, visit the Starhouse website.

Seeking your equilibrium, you will undoubtedly
find yourself flailing about from time-to-time,
searching for any hand-hold or sense of solid ground
in the midst of your wingless flight.

Your eyes might slam shut
to close out the very idea
that at any moment you will hit bottom
and not survive.

But there is always a point in time
when the body grows tired of resisting,
the mind grows tired of crafting,
and your spirit finds its wings.

When you relinquish the idea of one direction,
your arms extend into a swan dive,
your breath becomes full and even,
and your heart begins to relish

the power of full surrender.

- originally published august 2010

We hear twinkling chimes on mountaintops far, far away,
instantly tie our shoelaces tight and run to the top
before we have time to remember that we just put the tea kettle on.

We smell a savory fragrance coming from the baker’s open window,
trip drunkenly into the center of the road, mouth watering,
not taking care to look and see the bus barreling our way.

We taste a dish of thick, creamy stew garnished with purple plums,
drawing our mouth to the rim, blindly drinking the entire bounty,
the hungry man beside us wondering where his life-saving bowl has gone.

We touch a swath of rich, dark velvet worn by a knight, a duchess,
drop swiftly to our knees, clinging the softness to the skin of our cheek
as our own silken threads become covered in mire.

We see a beautiful being surrounded by haloes of white light,
don our most well-made tunic, smoothing our hair carefully
as we rush out the door to greet them with coquettish smiles,
forgetting that our mother is dying on the bed we have just left behind.

Friends, we must stand against these distractions that dull our senses!
That lure us from our path of compassion, draw us away from
the very things that teach us well, give us life,
remind us that it is our commonness that makes us great!

This is when I leave my dusty doorstep behind,
to troll the mysterious alleyways, cobbled courtyards,
gardens and parks filled with ancient trees that
ungrudgingly carry an imprint of every moment
lived in their presence, left in their wake.

It is a time when I am not bothered
by the incessant barking of a neglected dog,
the whimpering cries of a fussy babe,
the public argument of man and woman
unhappy with how the morning started.

When the mistake of a harried streetside vendor
does not leave me irritated beyond reason,
the two-minute-late train reminds me only
of all of the time in the world.

When I effortlessly breathe in a tableau of
eye-popping yellows, greens, purples, pinks
of wild market flowers against the backdrop of
three old beggars with heads dropped low,
outstretched arms imploring the hearts
of distracted passers-by.

These are the sounds and shapes that
beckon me with a crafty crook of finger,
the dilating drug of an expanded vision in
my waking dream –  a dream that imagines itself
beyond the crowded borders of my everyday travel,
charting passages and people that never
would my mind believe possible.

And once I have had my fill, calmed my unrest,
veins filled fresh with oxygen and unlocked secrets,
with a reformed, intoxicated stride do I return
to a familiar home of new address,
my absence required for God to have time
to stage this timely renovation.

And so, for the month of April, we invite you to claim your own theme for the month: a topic that will hold your attention for 30 days of inquiry. Something that is ready to be given more attention and intention in your life, that needs consistent tending and nourishment. This will be a time to be curious about your theme, raising questions and challenging yourself to look beyond the obvious. If you need some guidance, take a look at our past monthly topics and the associated written inquiry to get a better idea of how to work concertedly with a topic for one month.

Throughout the month of April, join our Facebook community to share your personal focus and hear from others about their experiences and insights. Be willing to be seen in your curiosity and vulnerability of self-discovery – your story may be a perfect teaching for someone else.

To sweeten the pot, we will sponsor a contest for this community-sharing month:
Share your theme and a few words about it on Facebook, and you’ll be entered to win either a BodyMantra Essential Oil Blend of your choice, or three (3) movement classes.* So come one, come all and let’s weave a web of expansive personal inquiry all month long!

* Choose from our currently-available essential oil blends, listed on-line; movement classes must be used within a 60 day period from date of issue; prize must be claimed by May 15.

…

until the breath again becomes possible,
the tremors sift and settle,
extreme response subsides,
coherence emerges from the rubble,
and all that remains is
a blessed, simple circle.

This is one never to ignore, never to push aside
as an annoyance that is brushed away like an invisible, pesky gnat
with the swift motion of an uncompassionate hand.
Never to be drowned by the soggy accumulations of your busy mind,
to be ignored as a homeless beggar shaking a can for spare change.
Do not mask it for shame of its true colors,
turn away callously as it seeks your merciful approval,
raise your hand in anger to try and soothe your very deepest fears.

For this is the sound that should command
your most intent and fervent listening,
draw you away from luring cries of imposters and stand-ins,
tear down the walls of your most well-constructed life plans.

This is the one sound that implores you to
drop your ear down to the very seat of your soul,
listen and live the resonant echo of
all that has been yours from the start.

Certainly, there are notable life events – marriage, divorce, moving, losing a loved one – that immediately call attention to these cycles in life, easily underscoring the transformative power of major transition. There are also the smaller and sometimes less-obvious – but no less impacting – events that can be overlooked for their own brand of profound wisdom and potential for an experience of rebirth.

Take, for example, the moment that you are faced with a rude comment from your boss or your teen. Perhaps you often rise to defend yourself, finding yourself angered and matching in rudeness by the end of things. But today is the day that you choose to acknowledge their frustration and let them know that you are willing to talk when they are more calm; in the end, walking away, rather than engaging and escalating. This is a moment of rebirth. You have sown the seeds of a new behavior, one that could become a significant new path or way of being for you.

This is the type of experience that deserves to be acknowledged as much as any other. Often, the most significant moments of rebirth and metamorphosis stem directly from the accumulation of many smaller instances of breakthrough.

This month, explore this entire, rich territory of Rebirth – from major life events to the (seemingly) smallest of the small. Open your eyes and body wide to the expansion that comes with greeting each new experience as a potential turning point in your life. Welcome equally the rebirth that accompanies sloughing off something old, letting go of something to which you are attached, staying open to an unexpected insight. Each of these circumstances have the potential to make way for something fresh that wants to come through.

In our local movement classes, we will be moving the body with this curiosity as our fuel. If you are seeking a place to birth new actions in yourself – perhaps things that are as-yet unformed or uncomfortable for you – this is a perfect crucible to practice in safety. You can bring the same to any body-centered practice that holds your attention. Asking for and welcoming new movements and shapes in the body, particularly those that seem small or insignificant, for they will naturally dovetail into your daily life and behaviors.

This investigation is an invitation to be ‘as a newborn’ – alive, curious, seeking, not yet fully formed, and not with all of the answers. This is the beauty of Rebirth: breeding possibility and discovery as we leave behind familiar territory, ask more questions, and revel in the New.

I long to sink into
a wide pool of cool water,
to hear the satisfying hiss of
their burning being doused.

To be turned upside down,
heels over head,
forgiving them their task
for a suspended moment in time.

To be laid upon a bed of
sheepskin and pillowing down,
their pulsing coaxed to calm,

as I gaze up at storytelling
clouds and stars,
allowing myself to be discovered
through an expedition of rest.

Each word pierces me as bitter cold to the bone,
my body shivering and painfully clacking
in this place of judgment and separation
from the very thing that I am certain
can warm me from the inside out.

I long to hear

the words that urge me
to weep, to cry out in rage, to laugh uncontrollably,
fall to rest in silent contemplation,
one of these things no more time-taking
than the other –

a wise voice that is guided by the
grand order of things,
calling out for me to stand in the
comfort of discomfort,
wait for the revelation of a small, shining pearl
that reminds me that God does not move unprovoked,
but rather writes each verse in view of
the wide expanse of what is possible.

an expanse of curious pathways,
some winding, some straight,
some overgrown, some unobscured
as far as the eye can see.

My heartbeat falters, breath quickens,
something catches in my throat,
both from wonder and fright
for all that lies before me.

As this vast, sweeping landscape reveals,
my eyes adjusting tentatively to the sheer expanse,
I feel the tingling of an unhurried challenge
to permanently broaden my perspective,
rearrange all the inner-workings of my head,
forsake not this centerpoint of choice
as I relax away from my age-old addiction
to singular consumption.

For even as I make a choice to step onto
this path or that, it is likely that I will often return
to this very place, select an alternate course
that speaks to that particular moment in time,
embrace the absence of street signs as
each direction invites me to consider its worth,

learning over the course of time
that these wildly varied passages
all lead to important treasures carefully placed,
awaiting my return.

Hence the idea of What Is. By removing the urge to label something, we give space for that experience to be felt fully and authentically for all that it is.

If I put a label on something – saying that it is Bad, for example – I leave little room for another reality to present itself. For, in fact, that Bad thing might simply be a stepping stone to the most expansive, joyful experience I could imagine. Much like the passing of a loved one might open you to have a more contemplative, less fear-based relationship to death. Or being laid off from your job could lead you to starting your own successful and fulfilling business. Not that we overlook the emotion of these initial moments – the grief, the anger, the sadness. Rather, we allow those emotions to come fully online and for the possibility that something else is afoot.

And so we seek the balance. Allowing the mind to witness the stories that make up our daily lives, while letting go of the need to stifle their wisdom with singular, limiting designations. Instead, inviting ourselves to feel every single aspect of the story, curious about and open to its unfolding.

Which then brings us to the idea of Resting Into. If we are constantly leaning forward, expecting, trying to make something happen, we are cultivating the ground for potential exhaustion and disappointment. It’s akin to sitting on the edge of your seat in a movie. At the end, you probably feel the uncomfortable tension in your back from that on-the-edge experience.

So instead, what if we do our best to rest back – literally, into the back of the body – and experience things as they arrive, rather than maintaining a constant at-the-ready stance? Otherwise, we contribute to a sustained fight or flight response in the body, which is ultimately an erosive state of being.

This doesn’t mean that we always wait for things to come to us, never taking action or stepping in with conviction. It means that we carry ourselves with a sense of equanimity and calm, even when we are actively participating in our lives. What results is a healthy sense of detachment from outcome and an ability to fully and completely experience life as it unfolds.

In our local BodyMantra movement classes, we will practice and practice again this very thing during the month of February: Cultivating the patience and curiosity that invite a full experience of each moment. Doing our best to release judgement and commentary, opening to unexpected outcome and expansive experience that we might otherwise miss.

But rather than analyze a literal translation of Apocalypse, I’m interested in considering the opportunity of this monumental time in history.

For the message – however it presents itself – feels real and universal: the world is radically shifting, turning on its axis, bringing us to the point of simultaneous death and rebirth. And we have the chance to courageously step up to the threshold of this profound metamorphosis. Stand fully in the face of an epic, awe-inspiring transmutation.

What will bring us to this place that can be labeled both portal and precipice? The Truth.

As we have been approaching 2012, we have in fact already been experiencing this shift. For at least the last 18 months, the heat has been turned up on all fronts, asking us to look at what is not working in our daily lives, our social structures, our nations, our world. The fact that natural disasters have amped up during this time, financial structures have been collapsing, and very few are escaping seismic personal challenge is no coincidence. As a species, we are being asked to stand in the face of our own, self-imposed structures and overlays that have obscured what is real and true, and allow them – assist them – to crumble.

This process starts with us as individuals. As we look at our own lives and open to radical honesty – with ourselves and those around us – we actively engage the transformation. Rather than turn a blind eye, we can identify and apprehend behaviors and choices that keep us from fully experiencing what it is to be human, in all its glory. We can do our best to understand how we contribute to the suppression of our true, uncensored soul, and commit to the work that will reveal that very seed of ourselves.

This is an undertaking that will undoubtedly shake the very foundation of who you have been until now. It will extend beyond just you, rippling and reverberating through the concentric circles of relationships that are an essential part of you. As you challenge the very moorings of your being, a gamut of emotion and experience will arrive on your doorstep, making for a complex and sensational journey. This is what radical means: a far-reaching departure from tradition. The Apocalypse has rightfully never been depicted as a walk in the park.

And though this investigation and practice can certainly apply to the little white lies you have told in the last two days, I am referring more to the half-truths and hidden truths that have marked your life for long periods of time.

What have you denied yourself or your loved ones by maintaining the status quo, because it was ‘easier’ than telling the truth?

What truth have you repressed because it could break hearts or feel like a relinquishing of power?

What is waiting to be revealed that will allow you to move transparently through your life with less burden, less blame, less self-censorship?

What truth are you willing to hear so that you can love another more fully or free yourself from the illusion of comfort?

These are the Truths I am speaking of. The big ones. The ones that change the tides and flip the planet on its axis. The ones that challenge the parts of our tradition – personal and cultural – that keep us separated from our most basic, loving, kind nature.

These are the Truths that will unequivocally grow wild the apocalyptic fires of change and collapse the well-constructed barriers that keep us from all that we are capable of being.

It starts with one person. That then lives their truth in the world, giving permission for others to do the same. An act that becomes infectious and eventually leaves behind the label of Radical. It becomes the New Way. Ushering in Rebirth and Revelation. An Apocalypse.

As you step off the curb of
your comfortable easy chair
in search of something more satisfying,
there will always be cab drivers
gone mad, pedestrians that
make you laugh, make you uncomfortable,
scare you, intrigue you -
sounds from nearby gathering places
that shatter the unbreakable plane
of your internal serenity, road maps and street signs
that point in opposing directions
to the very same place.

As time passes, you will realize that there are
ones who will be incessantly by your side,
racing you to an imaginary finish line,
babbling nonsense and fear-saturated preaching
in both ears at once, one day friend, one day foe,
distracting you from the plaintive whisper
that startled you out of your afternoon stupor.

There will be the ones that dazzle you
with rings of fire, chains of gold,
exotic pennies, the sweetest of delicacies,
bringing you to the brink of drunkenness
as you stumble at every turn, until the moment
that you lay your head down and slumber for untold hours.

As the mayhem unfolds, surrounds you, engulfs you,
blurring the line between what is real and what is fiction,
leading you to question the very root of your soul,
the burning embers of your essence will smolder
with the heat of one unbending truth:

All that is outside of you will forever be changing,
with barking dogs, frustrated shop owners,
fragrant fruit trees and singing gurus
doing their best to mesmerize you, acting as a narcotic
that will incite ignorance at a moment’s notice,
luring you from the path that has been in place
for many lifetimes, a map engraved on the
marrow of your every bone, bearing effortlessly
the peace that lies within.

I often stand back
before the true strokes begin,
studying this blank view,
allowing my imagination
to paint full shapes in advance,
mind-sketching
what it will be like
when the brushes
finally make contact.

What strikes me is that the canvas
is never completely cleared
before I start again.
There are always
impressions,
textures,
remnants
of what has come before,
making the final piece
so much richer,
intriguing,
and real.

Inevitably, I pause
to consider
all possible outcomes,
imagining that my
mind could conjure
an undisputed knowing of
what I will encounter,
from grizzlies to
unknown traveler to
enchanted waterfall
that will cleanse me
of all worry.

But this is all
of one minute’s time,
a distraction that I must
each time shake off
lest I turn the other way,
renouncing new discovery,
sketching the story
before it has begun.

For without fail it is the first
courageous step that
ensures my safe passage,
a journey balanced in
shadow and light
that answers always
Yes! –
this is The Way.

Friday | 6:30-7:45pm

Join us for this special event as Kimberly & Stephen combine forces to guide you through a sacred evening of yoga and free-form movement. Drawing on focused body practices, music, and the power of essential oils, participants will be invited to arrive more fully in each moment of embodied expression.

This evening will include an anointing ritual with BodyMantra essential oil blend Presence. The full line of BodyMantra blends will be available for sale immediately following our movement ceremony.

Stephen Uvalle
Founder, Yoga Trip

Stephen understands that yoga asana practice is an important and transformative tool that can bring great perspective to life both physically and spiritually. He became interested in yoga for the physical aspects and soon found that asana touched something much deeper; his life experience and studies have influenced a unique perspective and teaching style. He invites all who want to live to their greatest potential to come experience the strength and delight this living art has to offer.

This often, of course, starts with the infamous New Year’s Resolutions. The stating of intentions and wishes for the upcoming year. However, we must take that next step beyond intention – move into action – in order to bring those things to life. For it is our commitment to participating in the manifestation of new directions in our lives that is part of the recipe for success.

As always, in our local BodyMantra practice, we will move together in community as a way to both identify and activate these intentions for the upcoming year. Allowing our body to guide us and speak truth about where and how we hold both motivation and resistance so that we can work actively with both of those elements along the way.

What perceived obstacles or blocks are present and how can we work with and/or shift our orientation to them? How can we more fully harvest our reserves and imagination as we move toward our well-conceived intentions?

It might just be that you find, along the way, that some of your intentions need to be refined or to change entirely, as you get more and more clear about what serves you and aligns in the body, and what does not. Watch for expectations that can block your ability to see all possible routes of passage, particularly those that you may not have known or believed were available. And most certainly lean in fully, with Faith, to all that you vision, long for, and imagine, for that leaning is what will bring about the greatest, most magical change… and New Beginnings.

Saturday | 10:30-6:00pm
(includes the regular BodyMantra community class from 10:30-12:00 – the afternoon will resume at 2:00; morning event not required for participation in the immersion)

Sunday | 10:00-5:00pm

We’ve all likely experienced a point in time when something occurs and a little voice inside us says Not again! A voice stemming from our immediate understanding that we are repeating a pattern of behavior or a story similar to something from our past. This response can so often be one of self-punishment, a belief that we haven’t changed, learned, or grown from past patterns of behavior. Or one of choosing the victim role – the Why me? syndrome.

And yet the truth is often that we often have grown and have not yet acknowledged the learning enough to release the old patterning more fully. Or, we have not recognized the pattern until this point in time, and the opportunity is now present for us to work more directly with our past and take responsibility for our part in perpetuating habitual response.

During this immersion, we will marry mind and body as we mine the archives of our past patterns and stories. Through movement, meditation, and conscious dialogue, we will investigate where we have been prone to not fully harness the cumulative wisdom of our repeated patterns, giving ourselves permission to move forward with less burden and more self-understanding.

Add To Your Weekend Experience
Work one-on-one with Kimberly before and after the weekend to bring more personalized understanding and integration to your inquiry. Sessions must be scheduled during the two weeks on either side of the weekend.
« Read about private sessions with Kimberly

Will you walk on
as if down a corridor,
the sound of your footsteps
bouncing on every blank surface,

not one turn to
see if someone is behind,
or a pause in step to
hear the echoes of
wisdom walked?

Or will you walk
with presence
as a child would
through a land of
magic trees and curious people,

delighting in each change
of wind and sound,
chasing frights and joys
like lightening bugs
on a summer’s eve,
dreaming in color
both of days past
and stories yet to come?

Particularly, I have been considering the notion of emptying out. Mirroring the experience of an exhale fully completed, where nothing is left but emptiness. I think of the dark in much the same way: A place where the absence of light is the equivalent of emptiness. And it is in this place that particular lessons are learned, for darkness is a teacher with a unique view and method of delivery.

As part of a BodyMantra Solstice ceremony in Boulder last night, I offered this poem as reflection about the physicality of the dark as well as about our own, internal shadow::darkness as ally.

Empty Vessel
_

I stand empty.

Drinking in the
silence of this
wide bowl of dark
that feeds me
with spaciousness.

Feeling fully
what my eyes
cannot see in a
black cave of
echoing sound,
awakening
my dull senses,
furtively inviting
my trust.

Facing with courage
all that has not yet
taken shape
before me
as my hands and
heart tremble.

Heeding the primal urge
to burrow deep
into endless layers
of steamy loam
that cradle the
bones of my ancestors.

Curling up
as a babe to its mother,
nestling into shadows
and silhouettes that
wrap around me,
giving my body shape.

Welcoming the loss of
all reference points
as the canyon
of my soul
reverberates with
all that it knows.

I stand empty.

Not impatient
to be filled again
as I savor the
bottomless chalice
of no-thing
that reminds me
what it is to
truly see.

We call on the darkness to hold us accountable.
To ask for our most authentic presence and trust
in the comfort of seeing nothing
and feeling everything.

We call on the darkness to nurture us.
To act as a salve for our exhausted
hearts, minds and bodies,
gently reminding us what it is
to be whole.

We call on the darkness to envelop our nakedness.
To bear witness to our deepest fears,
our most intimate secrets, our sacred wounds,
that bring us, unfiltered, to the world.

We call on the darkness to teach us.
To remind us what it is to hear our
own voice and wrap ourselves within ourselves.

One of the gems of the show for me was the piece entitled Rant, inspired by beat poet Diane di Prima’s creation by the same name; it was a wild ride of sound and word. It seems a perfect point in time to share this complex and inspiring reflection that speaks to nothing more, nothing less, than what it is to be fully vibrant, alive human beings – seeking, fumbling, imagining, creating, truthtelling, stoking the fires of the imagination and the soul.

Rant
- Diane di Prima, 1985

You cannot write a single line w/out a cosmology
a cosmogony
laid out, before all eyes

there is no part of yourself you can separate out
saying, this is memory, this is sensation
this is the work I care about, this is how I
make a living

it is whole, it is a whole, it always was whole
you do not “make” it so
there is nothing to integrate, you are a presence
you are an appendage of the work, the work stems from
hangs from the heaven you create

every man / every woman carries a firmament inside
& the stars in it are not the stars in the sky

w/out imagination there is no memory
w/out imagination there is no sensation
w/out imagination there is no will, desire

history is a living weapon in yr hand
& you have imagined it, it is thus that you
“find out for yourself”
history is the dream of what can be, it is
the relation between things in a continuum

of imagination
what you find out for yourself is what you select
out of an infinite sea of possibility
no one can inhabit yr world

yet it is not lonely,
the ground of imagination is fearlessness
discourse is video tape of a movie of a shadow play
but the puppets are in yr hand
your counters in a multidimensional chess
which is divination
& strategy

the war that matters is the war against the imagination
all other wars are subsumed in it.

the ultimate famine is the starvation
of the imagination

it is death to be sure, but the undead
seek to inhabit someone else’s world

the ultimate claustrophobia is the syllogism
the ultimate claustrophobia is “it all adds up”
nothing adds up & nothing stands in for
anything else

THE ONLY WAR THAT MATTERS IS THE WAR AGAINST
THE IMAGINATION
THE ONLY WAR THAT MATTERS IS THE WAR AGAINST
THE IMAGINATION
THE ONLY WAR THAT MATTERS IS THE WAR AGAINST
THE IMAGINATION
ALL OTHER WARS ARE SUBSUMED IN IT

There is no way out of a spiritual battle
There is no way you can avoid taking sides
There is no way you can not have a poetics
no matter what you do: plumber, baker, teacher

you do it in the consciousness of making
or not making yr world
you have a poetics: you step into the world
like a suit of readymade clothes

or you etch in light
your firmament spills into the shape of your room
the shape of the poem, of yr body, of yr loves

A woman’s life / a man’s life is an allegory

Dig it

There is no way out of the spiritual battle
the war is the war against the imagination
you can’t sign up as a conscientious objector

the war of the worlds hangs here, right now, in the balance
it is a war for this world, to keep it
a vale of soul-making

the taste in all our mouths is the taste of power
and it is bitter as death

bring yr self home to yrself, enter the garden
the guy at the gate w/ the flaming sword is yrself

the war is the war for the human imagination
and no one can fight it but you/ & no one can fight it for you

The imagination is not only holy, it is precise
it is not only fierce, it is practical
men die everyday for the lack of it,
it is vast & elegant

intellectus means “light of the mind”
it is not discourse it is not even language
the inner sun

the polis is constellated around the sun
the fire is central

not the good dreams
the bad dreams
the moments of pure joy
of abject fear
of inconsolable grief -
the swirls of confusion
explosions of inspiration
complete loss of reason -
the realization of
things long forgotten,
true love discovered,
stories that have become
the hollow bones of our actions -
conversations with God
mother father sister brother
our soul self
renewed self -
the wise eyes of a stranger
geese crossing the road
lilies pushing through snow
the sound of sirens
underscoring questions
of a weary soul -

life is not just one of these
but all of them
strung together
crossing gaps and chasms
finding their way
onto the infinite pages
of your memoir.

This month, before the opportunity disappears and you’re wondering where the time went, invite yourself to review 2011 with care and consideration.

As I have talked to clients, students, friends, and family over the course of 2011, it is clear that this has been a doozie of a year. We have all been handed challenges that we were either not expecting or not fully prepared for, requiring us to juggle numerous, major lessons all at once. As a result, we have not always had the chance to fully feel the satisfaction of one lesson sinking in before another one is tossed into the juggling frenzy.

And so, it is up to us to take the responsibility to pause and reflect on the enormity of 2011. To acknowledge all that we have experienced – the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. By taking this time to review our year, we can step into 2012 with a sense of what truly needs our attention, rather than continuing to pile on the material until we come to a breaking point.

The key here is about balancing the body in light of these last twelve months. Looking honestly at our somatic systems and cleaning out what no longer needs to be there, focusing on experiences that require more integration, and intentionally claiming what still needs attention as the New Year rings in. The invitation is for you to listen to your body well. To understand where imbalances lie and take action to re-balance as part of this end-of-annum reflection. As always, attention to the physical body will translate to your state of mind and emotional well being.

Now certainly, this focus may seem a little antithetical to the overdrive quality that can often mark December, as holiday distractions bring of out-of-norm travel, parties, and shopping. All the more reason, I say, for us to consciously make an effort to slow down and honor all that has passed this year.

Come move with us in Boulder, if you are in the area, and we’ll share our 2011 experiences together. Otherwise, carry the torch of this intention through your month, setting yourself up well for a satisfying beginning to 2012. Invite your friends to join you so that there is force of attention and meaning behind your process. And remember that all of your experiences – however big, small, joyous, or painful – are relevant and worthy of acknowledgement.

« Read the poetry developed for December’s class topic

Image credit: “Contemplation” © Nathan Jon Tillet 2003

Winter has arrived
in her familiar, dutiful way.
And yet there is nothing usual
about what I feel stirring
just beneath my tingling skin.

There is much to contemplate here,
as the symphony of this season
finds its stride:
the air brisk and silent,
birds taking their most efficient flight,
trees dropping down to a mere whisper,
fox burrowing deeply into the steamy earth,
winter flowers reaching for waning strains of sunlight,
the ground shrouding delicate, slumbering roots.

In moments like these,
it is not hard to comprehend
why this time of year is to be
beloved, not feared.

Why every note
of every instrument
has been placed precisely as
summons to my soul,
benevolently reflecting
the calls of longing that
reverberate from depths of my soul.

It is clear now that my heart
has been waiting patiently
for the cycle of seasons to shift,
clearing the haze from my eyes,
ushering in this most
blessed time of year,
as I welcome the crisp vision and
impeccable hearing that emerge effortlessly
in the great spaces of winter’s silence.

when our precious sun
burrows deep beneath
the horizon line’s brow
long before the day feels done,
when the stories of
endless summer give way
to the mysterious breath
of Winter on our necks,
her dexterous dampening of sound
a mighty siren song
as we reenter
days marked by night.

when the beasts of our dreams
rise up to be seen more clearly,
wolves howl their wild song
from the belly of their souls,
millions of points of light
shine as silent beacons
in the thick of the black black night.

With this cloak of wintertime
falling fluidly over the shoulders
of your bursting, well-trodden days,
do not fall asleep.

Reach your arms out into the
shadows upon shadows before you,
shaping what lies there with
the heat of your trembling, seeking hands.

Find the song of your soul
and howl its refrain to the moon!

Rise up from the foot of your darkest shadow
and be revealed by the light of the stars!

Run wild in the moonless night
and remember all that you are!

For this is a precious time.
This is the Time of the Dark.

This month, we will take a look at our relationship to winter and what we can learn by engaging fully in a dialogue with her.

The winter months ask us to draw inward, slow our pace, recharge, reflect. From a eco-psychology perspective, winter represents a time of death. Inviting us to consider those things in our lives, in our psyches, that need to die so that we can rise from their ashes – moving toward the spring of rebirth. We have an opportunity to nestle into the cave of our own souls during this time, not sleeping or checking out, but activating and welcoming all that wishes to churn and burn.

What is your relationship to Wintertime? What challenges you during these weeks and months? What delights you? What do you resist? What do you embrace?

This broad set of questions is intended make way for deep investigation and insight. In the practice of BodyMantra, we always connect to the physical form – the body. How is your body responding to the change of seasons? What does it need to be in synch with the external environment, rather than rebelling against it? All of the changes in the outdoors invite us to shift gears and embrace a way of being in our bodies that is quite different than Spring, Summer, Autumn.

As always, once we tap authentically into the body and what it needs, the emotional and spiritual bodies open more fully. What needs to be tended in your system during these winter months? Are there events from the previous months that need more quiet attention and care? Is there a call for you to return to yourself after a season of outward play? How can this beautiful, slow, introspective season help to unfurl any stories of longing in your soul?

Through the practice of BodyMantra – cultivating presence, listening to the authentic voice of the body and spirit – we welcome our connection to the natural world, asking it to inform us, rather than us trying to escape it. So welcome this wintertime and all that it can offer!

« Read the poetry developed for November’s class topic

Initially, when I think about hibernation, I conjure the image of those brown bears. I imagine them sleeping for six months as they cycle through the excess fat that they accumulated during the Autumn months, not worrying much about being active. But, even with a slower heart rate and little-to-no movement, bears are accomplishing something very particular: they are recharging from the summer months of parenting and hunting. Allowing for the build-up of reserves during this period of rest and non-doing.

And so I turn to a contemplation of humans and hibernation. With all of the modern conveniences, the practices of hibernation are all but gone. No longer do we hunker down for the winter, wood-burning stoves alight as the days grow shorter, the available time to hunt and gather wood diminished. We are able to move around with relative comfort all day and night, traveling in cars, fed by electric light and grocery stores, keeping warm with jackets made of the latest tech fabrics.

So how can this notion of hibernation still serve?

It probably isn’t realistic for most of us to think about curling up for six months and ‘waiting it out.’ However, that doesn’t mean that we have to go all-out, burning the little reserves that we have after the long days of summer. Rather, we can look at how to wisely use this time to both rest and expand. Allowing ourselves to still be generative while recharging our batteries and dropping deeper roots in preparation for Spring in a few months’ time.

Consider assessing how you move through Wintertime. If you find yourself exhausted, yet still pushing, perhaps it is time to step back and look at how you can still accomplish the important things, while letting go of the things that simply cause mind chatter and keep you unnecessarily busy. There is a reason why the hours of light are shorter and the temperatures drop. They encourage us to go to bed an hour earlier than usual, to stay in for a nap on a Sunday afternoon, to drink in their silence and stillness.

There is much to learn by observing how Nature shape-shifts to embrace the seasonal tides. She is a wise guide, reminding us how to work with this hibernation time. We certainly don’t need to match the bears or the settlers of the Wild Winters of the West in their winter doings. However, we can be gracious in the dance with forces that are greater than us, inviting ourselves to expand into the comforting pace that comes with hibernation.

~

I mostly wake
from these dreams
curled into myself,
hands at my heart,
feet entwined,
breath even,
feeling the hum of
my mother’s song,
the warmth
of my beginnings,
the settling of
all worry.

As I set to my daily approach,
with burning calves and rosy cheeks,
I surrender to the burly, knotty extensions
that stream down the hillside,
burrowing into the wet earth for nourishment
with a periodic rise to the surface
for a breath of fresh air.

I am often drawn to meld my limbs
to this limbs of This One,
gently touching, caressing, climbing, suspending,
as it teaches me how to trust the infinite expanse
of its unwavering foundation,
to extend my body to its very edges
as my mind gives over to the passing winds.

Perched atop this primordial teacher,
an understanding of its long life is effortless,
for I can hear the whispers of folklore that
twine through its branches,
heralding the freedom of
boundless heights and flexibility
that spring from the sole act of
digging deep.

(Originally published March 2010)

BodyMantra partners with Reform Pilates from 9:00-3:00pm on Friday, November 4 as the studio shares a wide range of Pilates-based classes and products with the public. BodyMantra founder Kimberly Jonas will be present as part of the festivities, sharing BodyMantra Essential Oil Blends. Blends will be for sale throughout the day and Kimberly will assist you to select the perfect oil. Stop by for any part of the day and let us know what you think!

Visit Reform Pilates on the web for more details.

I am in love with what is mixed and impure
Doubtful, dark and hard to disencumber
I want beauty I must dig for, search for.

Pure beauty is beginning and not end
Begin with the sun and drop from sun to cloud
From cloud to tree, and from tree to earth itself

And deeper yet to the earths dark root.
I am in love with what resists my loving
With what I have to labor to make live.

- Robert Francis

You are always invited here.
To draw back the hardened shell
that protects this vast, intricate system,
reveal its pulsing, humidifying heat,
drink fully of the ancient lessons
quietly taught here.

How often do you move from your roots? Feel the length of your legs, the seat of your belly, and make choices in your life from those places? In our culture, we are often taught to use our strong minds to lead us, to listen to our intellect and make decisions from that place. And yet, when we solely listen to the mind, we neglect the wisdom that is housed in the lower part of the body – and beyond. The Root. As we connect to the Earth’s rhythms, feel our feet planted firmly on the ground, we tap into a different source of information and motivation that has the power to hold powerful manifestation in the world.

This month, we’ll be tending these roots. Feeling how we can both root down and move upward from our roots. Welcoming dialogue with our low belly, pelvis, legs, and feet. Feeling into the great taproot of our bodies and beings as we learn more about how we best root and where we up-root. An essential dialogue very much worth enriching and enlivening through focused inquiry.

« Read the poetry developed for October’s class topic

Tame the urge that
sits just beneath the
surface of your skin
to bombard her with
questions about
how she came to be,
why she does what she does,
and how she will next be
attending to you.

No, no. This is the time
for a slow, delicious spot of tea.
For you to sit comfortably with her
in the glow of the afternoon sun,
listen and observe.
Feel the cadence of her words,
even if you are convinced that
she speaks in a foreign tongue.
Take in every inch of her,
whatever form she has taken.
Suspend your belief that she
was supposed to deliver a missive
of clear and exacting intent.

For Providence can be a
sensitive one:
she will as quickly leave
as she did arrive
should her keen and present offerings
not be considered in earnest.

Join us for a local celebration of Autumn in its full ripeness, immediately following BodyMantra class on Saturday, October 8. We’ll gather to share our favorite fall dishes and stories of the summer.
« Email us for directions

What a gorgeous time it was this past weekend in Boulder, Colorado, the air turning a bit more brisk and the smells of Autumn beginning to fill the air in earnest. As many of us gathered at the sacred Starhouse in the hills above Boulder proper, we were greeted by numerous questions of the soul. We anointed ourselves and the space throughout the weekend with the BodyMantra oil Forge, considering and discussing the meaning of this powerful verb.

Upon first utterance, forge seems to imply a single-minded commitment to moving forward. Perhaps almost relentless. I forge through the woods, hacking down brush and bramble all the way. Or, I forge through challenges with my head held high and an eye toward success. With that tenor attached to the word, I feel immediately weary.

And so I offer another perspective for you to consider: the actual process of forging metal. If you have ever seen a traditional blacksmith at work, you know that he works with particular tools: a very hot fire, a hammer and anvil, and a vessel of water. The process involves super-heating the metal, hammering it into a desired form, and cooling it in the water. This pattern of steps repeats many times as the blacksmith considers each strike carefully, pausing periodically to contemplate the next right step as he gradually shapes a new form.

Just as the blacksmith forges metal, we can think of forging in our lives in much the same way: The careful, active shaping of something that lies before us, combined with periods of cooling off and reflection. This view, then, gives us permission to rest between periods of intentional activity so that we can consider what steps come next, integrating the choices we have made along the way.

From this perspective, forging feels much like a process, rather than a means to an end or a blind commitment to getting something accomplished, no matter the consequence. It implies that we must find the balance between hot, forward motion, and cooling, restful contemplation. Consider welcoming this view into your consciousness and see if a bit of relief and ease come your way as you forge ahead in the coming days.

Could this be God speaking to you?

Asking that her voice be heard
with as much humanness as you embody,
so that she is not made into
something of the Other World that
can never be attained?

I have no answer for you, Beloved.

I can only offer that perhaps
this is God speaking as you,
your body the luminous instrument of
all things Divine.

What causes you to hesitate?
Or to hurry on with little consideration
of the preciousness of each step?
Watch the mind, Friend.
For it might first apply to you as ally,
holding you tenderly in
the wide gap between strides,
before it cunningly shapeshifts into the wrench
that can quickly become
the undoing of this brilliant show,
falsely editing the true tale of
who you are in this world.

With Goethe’s reflection in mind – that we must take that first, courageous step of committing in order for Providence to be set in motion – we will be invited this month to focus on a single commitment. You may have many things happening in your life these days, inspiring many visions and invitations for new commitments. Invite yourself to choose just one focus from the many, or to distill those myriad things into a common commitment, and move with it for the entire month.

This does not mean, by any stretch, that this will be a static experience. On the contrary. Invite your commitment to hone itself through dynamic investigation: understanding where you are still wavering, noticing where you lack precision and clarity about what you are committing to, welcoming doubts and fears, opening to unexpected serendipity and ah-ha’s that stem from your commitment, drawing in the tingles of excitement, curiosity and joy as they arise along the way.

It is important to feel all of the facets of this commitment as it moves through us, getting our limiting mind out of the equation, so that we can be in the full expanse of what is Possible once we actively commit to something.

In your movement practice, allow yourself to be moved by all of the questions and emotions that stir in you as you deepen into this one commitment. Where do you resist in your body? Where do you feel new openings? Are you allowing your body to speak fully, even move into uncharted territory, however foreign or scary? What are the gestures of comfort and ease that can act as foundation as you broaden your perspectives?

Though we will likely start with a commitment of the mind, we must continue on into the embodiment of that commitment. Asking our cells to imprint that dedication, which will eventually move us from being in the idea of the commitment, and truly living that commitment as a natural extension of who we are.

And the sheer fact is: This principle that Goethe asserts has not failed me. I may have failed it, periodically misplacing Faith, brushing off major moves of Providence as minor, and entertaining busy-mind thoughts that often spiraled into the cavernous wondering What’s it all for? All of these things asking me to re-commit, again and again.

In the end, I have been met. In every way imaginable and beyond. No, my commitments didn’t come solely in the form of carefully-phrased words spoken every day from the comfort of my favorite chair (though there was plenty of that). There was blood, sweat and tears. Periods of anger, frustration and fear. Moments of ease, grace and magic. All reminding me what it feels like to truly commit. To feel the pulse of sure and certain commitment coursing through my veins. To know the aliveness of trusting courageously.

And where I am, 365 days later, is nothing I could have designed on my own. The map that has emerged and emblazoned itself on my life’s canvas is pure genius, better than any topographic scribbles I might have attempted.

Standing here with Goethe by my side, as I commit yet again, I challenge you to commit. Really commit. Especially to those things that make you hesitate that one extra second. Step over the threshold. Fully. Feel the power of all that you can conjure with one, clear commitment. Allow yourself to be dazzled and amazed… pierced straight through the heart by Providence.

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative and creation
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sort of things occur
to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor
all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
Whatever you can do,
or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius,
power and magic in it.

~ Goethe

Saturday | 7:00-9:00pm

Visit renowned yoga studio Dharma Yoga in Austin, Texas for an evening of BodyMantra exploration. Dovetailing with the powerful teachings at this lovely studio, Kimberly will guide us through a passage marked by movement and stillness, asking our bodies to welcome the organic expression of unstructured, heart-led movement that stems from the longings and knowings of the body.

Space for this event is limited. Please contact the studio to register.

Join us before and after classes at Dharma Yoga during the day, November 5 – including before and after the BodyMantra event – as Kimberly shares the full line of BodyMantra Essential Oil Blends. Products will be for sale during this time, and Kimberly will be present to assist you in selecting just the right blend for you!

We have but to remember
and seize these moments rising
between the spaces of our toes
as the feet dance on.

As the night wears on,
the clock striking
well past midnight,
there is one thing
that allows us to
leap and glide
effortlessly, endlessly,
feeding the hungry heart
a steady stream of
unexpected delights,
dousing weary eyes with
tears of joy,
calming the frantic mind
that wonders if it’s yet time
to retire for good.

Yes, dears, it is our
old, wise friend of
childhood days past
that keeps us standing tall,
the one that reminds us
what it is to imagine,
to rediscover tirelessness
amidst a tableau of
wild, spinning dancers.

Curiosity
is in the house.