I long to sink into
a wide pool of cool water,
to hear the satisfying hiss of
their burning being doused.

To be turned upside down,
heels over head,
forgiving them their task
for a suspended moment in time.

To be laid upon a bed of
sheepskin and pillowing down,
their pulsing coaxed to calm,

as I gaze up at storytelling
clouds and stars,
allowing myself to be discovered
through an expedition of rest.

Each word pierces me as bitter cold to the bone,
my body shivering and painfully clacking
in this place of judgment and separation
from the very thing that I am certain
can warm me from the inside out.

I long to hear

the words that urge me
to weep, to cry out in rage, to laugh uncontrollably,
fall to rest in silent contemplation,
one of these things no more time-taking
than the other –

a wise voice that is guided by the
grand order of things,
calling out for me to stand in the
comfort of discomfort,
wait for the revelation of a small, shining pearl
that reminds me that God does not move unprovoked,
but rather writes each verse in view of
the wide expanse of what is possible.

an expanse of curious pathways,
some winding, some straight,
some overgrown, some unobscured
as far as the eye can see.

My heartbeat falters, breath quickens,
something catches in my throat,
both from wonder and fright
for all that lies before me.

As this vast, sweeping landscape reveals,
my eyes adjusting tentatively to the sheer expanse,
I feel the tingling of an unhurried challenge
to permanently broaden my perspective,
rearrange all the inner-workings of my head,
forsake not this centerpoint of choice
as I relax away from my age-old addiction
to singular consumption.

For even as I make a choice to step onto
this path or that, it is likely that I will often return
to this very place, select an alternate course
that speaks to that particular moment in time,
embrace the absence of street signs as
each direction invites me to consider its worth,

learning over the course of time
that these wildly varied passages
all lead to important treasures carefully placed,
awaiting my return.

Hence the idea of What Is. By removing the urge to label something, we give space for that experience to be felt fully and authentically for all that it is.

If I put a label on something – saying that it is Bad, for example – I leave little room for another reality to present itself. For, in fact, that Bad thing might simply be a stepping stone to the most expansive, joyful experience I could imagine. Much like the passing of a loved one might open you to have a more contemplative, less fear-based relationship to death. Or being laid off from your job could lead you to starting your own successful and fulfilling business. Not that we overlook the emotion of these initial moments – the grief, the anger, the sadness. Rather, we allow those emotions to come fully online and for the possibility that something else is afoot.

And so we seek the balance. Allowing the mind to witness the stories that make up our daily lives, while letting go of the need to stifle their wisdom with singular, limiting designations. Instead, inviting ourselves to feel every single aspect of the story, curious about and open to its unfolding.

Which then brings us to the idea of Resting Into. If we are constantly leaning forward, expecting, trying to make something happen, we are cultivating the ground for potential exhaustion and disappointment. It’s akin to sitting on the edge of your seat in a movie. At the end, you probably feel the uncomfortable tension in your back from that on-the-edge experience.

So instead, what if we do our best to rest back – literally, into the back of the body – and experience things as they arrive, rather than maintaining a constant at-the-ready stance? Otherwise, we contribute to a sustained fight or flight response in the body, which is ultimately an erosive state of being.

This doesn’t mean that we always wait for things to come to us, never taking action or stepping in with conviction. It means that we carry ourselves with a sense of equanimity and calm, even when we are actively participating in our lives. What results is a healthy sense of detachment from outcome and an ability to fully and completely experience life as it unfolds.

In our local BodyMantra movement classes, we will practice and practice again this very thing during the month of February: Cultivating the patience and curiosity that invite a full experience of each moment. Doing our best to release judgement and commentary, opening to unexpected outcome and expansive experience that we might otherwise miss.

But rather than analyze a literal translation of Apocalypse, I’m interested in considering the opportunity of this monumental time in history.

For the message – however it presents itself – feels real and universal: the world is radically shifting, turning on its axis, bringing us to the point of simultaneous death and rebirth. And we have the chance to courageously step up to the threshold of this profound metamorphosis. Stand fully in the face of an epic, awe-inspiring transmutation.

What will bring us to this place that can be labeled both portal and precipice? The Truth.

As we have been approaching 2012, we have in fact already been experiencing this shift. For at least the last 18 months, the heat has been turned up on all fronts, asking us to look at what is not working in our daily lives, our social structures, our nations, our world. The fact that natural disasters have amped up during this time, financial structures have been collapsing, and very few are escaping seismic personal challenge is no coincidence. As a species, we are being asked to stand in the face of our own, self-imposed structures and overlays that have obscured what is real and true, and allow them – assist them – to crumble.

This process starts with us as individuals. As we look at our own lives and open to radical honesty – with ourselves and those around us – we actively engage the transformation. Rather than turn a blind eye, we can identify and apprehend behaviors and choices that keep us from fully experiencing what it is to be human, in all its glory. We can do our best to understand how we contribute to the suppression of our true, uncensored soul, and commit to the work that will reveal that very seed of ourselves.

This is an undertaking that will undoubtedly shake the very foundation of who you have been until now. It will extend beyond just you, rippling and reverberating through the concentric circles of relationships that are an essential part of you. As you challenge the very moorings of your being, a gamut of emotion and experience will arrive on your doorstep, making for a complex and sensational journey. This is what radical means: a far-reaching departure from tradition. The Apocalypse has rightfully never been depicted as a walk in the park.

And though this investigation and practice can certainly apply to the little white lies you have told in the last two days, I am referring more to the half-truths and hidden truths that have marked your life for long periods of time.

What have you denied yourself or your loved ones by maintaining the status quo, because it was ‘easier’ than telling the truth?

What truth have you repressed because it could break hearts or feel like a relinquishing of power?

What is waiting to be revealed that will allow you to move transparently through your life with less burden, less blame, less self-censorship?

What truth are you willing to hear so that you can love another more fully or free yourself from the illusion of comfort?

These are the Truths I am speaking of. The big ones. The ones that change the tides and flip the planet on its axis. The ones that challenge the parts of our tradition – personal and cultural – that keep us separated from our most basic, loving, kind nature.

These are the Truths that will unequivocally grow wild the apocalyptic fires of change and collapse the well-constructed barriers that keep us from all that we are capable of being.

It starts with one person. That then lives their truth in the world, giving permission for others to do the same. An act that becomes infectious and eventually leaves behind the label of Radical. It becomes the New Way. Ushering in Rebirth and Revelation. An Apocalypse.

As you step off the curb of
your comfortable easy chair
in search of something more satisfying,
there will always be cab drivers
gone mad, pedestrians that
make you laugh, make you uncomfortable,
scare you, intrigue you -
sounds from nearby gathering places
that shatter the unbreakable plane
of your internal serenity, road maps and street signs
that point in opposing directions
to the very same place.

As time passes, you will realize that there are
ones who will be incessantly by your side,
racing you to an imaginary finish line,
babbling nonsense and fear-saturated preaching
in both ears at once, one day friend, one day foe,
distracting you from the plaintive whisper
that startled you out of your afternoon stupor.

There will be the ones that dazzle you
with rings of fire, chains of gold,
exotic pennies, the sweetest of delicacies,
bringing you to the brink of drunkenness
as you stumble at every turn, until the moment
that you lay your head down and slumber for untold hours.

As the mayhem unfolds, surrounds you, engulfs you,
blurring the line between what is real and what is fiction,
leading you to question the very root of your soul,
the burning embers of your essence will smolder
with the heat of one unbending truth:

All that is outside of you will forever be changing,
with barking dogs, frustrated shop owners,
fragrant fruit trees and singing gurus
doing their best to mesmerize you, acting as a narcotic
that will incite ignorance at a moment’s notice,
luring you from the path that has been in place
for many lifetimes, a map engraved on the
marrow of your every bone, bearing effortlessly
the peace that lies within.

I often stand back
before the true strokes begin,
studying this blank view,
allowing my imagination
to paint full shapes in advance,
mind-sketching
what it will be like
when the brushes
finally make contact.

What strikes me is that the canvas
is never completely cleared
before I start again.
There are always
impressions,
textures,
remnants
of what has come before,
making the final piece
so much richer,
intriguing,
and real.

Inevitably, I pause
to consider
all possible outcomes,
imagining that my
mind could conjure
an undisputed knowing of
what I will encounter,
from grizzlies to
unknown traveler to
enchanted waterfall
that will cleanse me
of all worry.

But this is all
of one minute’s time,
a distraction that I must
each time shake off
lest I turn the other way,
renouncing new discovery,
sketching the story
before it has begun.

For without fail it is the first
courageous step that
ensures my safe passage,
a journey balanced in
shadow and light
that answers always
Yes! –
this is The Way.

Friday | 6:30-7:45pm

Join us for this special event as Kimberly & Stephen combine forces to guide you through a sacred evening of yoga and free-form movement. Drawing on focused body practices, music, and the power of essential oils, participants will be invited to arrive more fully in each moment of embodied expression.

This evening will include an anointing ritual with BodyMantra essential oil blend Presence. The full line of BodyMantra blends will be available for sale immediately following our movement ceremony.

Stephen Uvalle
Founder, Yoga Trip

Stephen understands that yoga asana practice is an important and transformative tool that can bring great perspective to life both physically and spiritually. He became interested in yoga for the physical aspects and soon found that asana touched something much deeper; his life experience and studies have influenced a unique perspective and teaching style. He invites all who want to live to their greatest potential to come experience the strength and delight this living art has to offer.

This often, of course, starts with the infamous New Year’s Resolutions. The stating of intentions and wishes for the upcoming year. However, we must take that next step beyond intention – move into action – in order to bring those things to life. For it is our commitment to participating in the manifestation of new directions in our lives that is part of the recipe for success.

As always, in our local BodyMantra practice, we will move together in community as a way to both identify and activate these intentions for the upcoming year. Allowing our body to guide us and speak truth about where and how we hold both motivation and resistance so that we can work actively with both of those elements along the way.

What perceived obstacles or blocks are present and how can we work with and/or shift our orientation to them? How can we more fully harvest our reserves and imagination as we move toward our well-conceived intentions?

It might just be that you find, along the way, that some of your intentions need to be refined or to change entirely, as you get more and more clear about what serves you and aligns in the body, and what does not. Watch for expectations that can block your ability to see all possible routes of passage, particularly those that you may not have known or believed were available. And most certainly lean in fully, with Faith, to all that you vision, long for, and imagine, for that leaning is what will bring about the greatest, most magical change… and New Beginnings.

Saturday | 10:30-6:00pm
(includes the regular BodyMantra community class from 10:30-12:00 – the afternoon will resume at 2:00; morning event not required for participation in the immersion)

Sunday | 10:00-5:00pm

We’ve all likely experienced a point in time when something occurs and a little voice inside us says Not again! A voice stemming from our immediate understanding that we are repeating a pattern of behavior or a story similar to something from our past. This response can so often be one of self-punishment, a belief that we haven’t changed, learned, or grown from past patterns of behavior. Or one of choosing the victim role – the Why me? syndrome.

And yet the truth is often that we often have grown and have not yet acknowledged the learning enough to release the old patterning more fully. Or, we have not recognized the pattern until this point in time, and the opportunity is now present for us to work more directly with our past and take responsibility for our part in perpetuating habitual response.

During this immersion, we will marry mind and body as we mine the archives of our past patterns and stories. Through movement, meditation, and conscious dialogue, we will investigate where we have been prone to not fully harness the cumulative wisdom of our repeated patterns, giving ourselves permission to move forward with less burden and more self-understanding.

Add To Your Weekend Experience
Work one-on-one with Kimberly before and after the weekend to bring more personalized understanding and integration to your inquiry. Sessions must be scheduled during the two weeks on either side of the weekend.
« Read about private sessions with Kimberly

Will you walk on
as if down a corridor,
the sound of your footsteps
bouncing on every blank surface,

not one turn to
see if someone is behind,
or a pause in step to
hear the echoes of
wisdom walked?

Or will you walk
with presence
as a child would
through a land of
magic trees and curious people,

delighting in each change
of wind and sound,
chasing frights and joys
like lightening bugs
on a summer’s eve,
dreaming in color
both of days past
and stories yet to come?

Particularly, I have been considering the notion of emptying out. Mirroring the experience of an exhale fully completed, where nothing is left but emptiness. I think of the dark in much the same way: A place where the absence of light is the equivalent of emptiness. And it is in this place that particular lessons are learned, for darkness is a teacher with a unique view and method of delivery.

As part of a BodyMantra Solstice ceremony in Boulder last night, I offered this poem as reflection about the physicality of the dark as well as about our own, internal shadow::darkness as ally.

Empty Vessel
_

I stand empty.

Drinking in the
silence of this
wide bowl of dark
that feeds me
with spaciousness.

Feeling fully
what my eyes
cannot see in a
black cave of
echoing sound,
awakening
my dull senses,
furtively inviting
my trust.

Facing with courage
all that has not yet
taken shape
before me
as my hands and
heart tremble.

Heeding the primal urge
to burrow deep
into endless layers
of steamy loam
that cradle the
bones of my ancestors.

Curling up
as a babe to its mother,
nestling into shadows
and silhouettes that
wrap around me,
giving my body shape.

Welcoming the loss of
all reference points
as the canyon
of my soul
reverberates with
all that it knows.

I stand empty.

Not impatient
to be filled again
as I savor the
bottomless chalice
of no-thing
that reminds me
what it is to
truly see.

We call on the darkness to hold us accountable.
To ask for our most authentic presence and trust
in the comfort of seeing nothing
and feeling everything.

We call on the darkness to nurture us.
To act as a salve for our exhausted
hearts, minds and bodies,
gently reminding us what it is
to be whole.

We call on the darkness to envelop our nakedness.
To bear witness to our deepest fears,
our most intimate secrets, our sacred wounds,
that bring us, unfiltered, to the world.

We call on the darkness to teach us.
To remind us what it is to hear our
own voice and wrap ourselves within ourselves.

One of the gems of the show for me was the piece entitled Rant, inspired by beat poet Diane di Prima’s creation by the same name; it was a wild ride of sound and word. It seems a perfect point in time to share this complex and inspiring reflection that speaks to nothing more, nothing less, than what it is to be fully vibrant, alive human beings – seeking, fumbling, imagining, creating, truthtelling, stoking the fires of the imagination and the soul.

Rant
- Diane di Prima, 1985

You cannot write a single line w/out a cosmology
a cosmogony
laid out, before all eyes

there is no part of yourself you can separate out
saying, this is memory, this is sensation
this is the work I care about, this is how I
make a living

it is whole, it is a whole, it always was whole
you do not “make” it so
there is nothing to integrate, you are a presence
you are an appendage of the work, the work stems from
hangs from the heaven you create

every man / every woman carries a firmament inside
& the stars in it are not the stars in the sky

w/out imagination there is no memory
w/out imagination there is no sensation
w/out imagination there is no will, desire

history is a living weapon in yr hand
& you have imagined it, it is thus that you
“find out for yourself”
history is the dream of what can be, it is
the relation between things in a continuum

of imagination
what you find out for yourself is what you select
out of an infinite sea of possibility
no one can inhabit yr world

yet it is not lonely,
the ground of imagination is fearlessness
discourse is video tape of a movie of a shadow play
but the puppets are in yr hand
your counters in a multidimensional chess
which is divination
& strategy

the war that matters is the war against the imagination
all other wars are subsumed in it.

the ultimate famine is the starvation
of the imagination

it is death to be sure, but the undead
seek to inhabit someone else’s world

the ultimate claustrophobia is the syllogism
the ultimate claustrophobia is “it all adds up”
nothing adds up & nothing stands in for
anything else

THE ONLY WAR THAT MATTERS IS THE WAR AGAINST
THE IMAGINATION
THE ONLY WAR THAT MATTERS IS THE WAR AGAINST
THE IMAGINATION
THE ONLY WAR THAT MATTERS IS THE WAR AGAINST
THE IMAGINATION
ALL OTHER WARS ARE SUBSUMED IN IT

There is no way out of a spiritual battle
There is no way you can avoid taking sides
There is no way you can not have a poetics
no matter what you do: plumber, baker, teacher

you do it in the consciousness of making
or not making yr world
you have a poetics: you step into the world
like a suit of readymade clothes

or you etch in light
your firmament spills into the shape of your room
the shape of the poem, of yr body, of yr loves

A woman’s life / a man’s life is an allegory

Dig it

There is no way out of the spiritual battle
the war is the war against the imagination
you can’t sign up as a conscientious objector

the war of the worlds hangs here, right now, in the balance
it is a war for this world, to keep it
a vale of soul-making

the taste in all our mouths is the taste of power
and it is bitter as death

bring yr self home to yrself, enter the garden
the guy at the gate w/ the flaming sword is yrself

the war is the war for the human imagination
and no one can fight it but you/ & no one can fight it for you

The imagination is not only holy, it is precise
it is not only fierce, it is practical
men die everyday for the lack of it,
it is vast & elegant

intellectus means “light of the mind”
it is not discourse it is not even language
the inner sun

the polis is constellated around the sun
the fire is central

not the good dreams
the bad dreams
the moments of pure joy
of abject fear
of inconsolable grief -
the swirls of confusion
explosions of inspiration
complete loss of reason -
the realization of
things long forgotten,
true love discovered,
stories that have become
the hollow bones of our actions -
conversations with God
mother father sister brother
our soul self
renewed self -
the wise eyes of a stranger
geese crossing the road
lilies pushing through snow
the sound of sirens
underscoring questions
of a weary soul -

life is not just one of these
but all of them
strung together
crossing gaps and chasms
finding their way
onto the infinite pages
of your memoir.

This month, before the opportunity disappears and you’re wondering where the time went, invite yourself to review 2011 with care and consideration.

As I have talked to clients, students, friends, and family over the course of 2011, it is clear that this has been a doozie of a year. We have all been handed challenges that we were either not expecting or not fully prepared for, requiring us to juggle numerous, major lessons all at once. As a result, we have not always had the chance to fully feel the satisfaction of one lesson sinking in before another one is tossed into the juggling frenzy.

And so, it is up to us to take the responsibility to pause and reflect on the enormity of 2011. To acknowledge all that we have experienced – the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly. By taking this time to review our year, we can step into 2012 with a sense of what truly needs our attention, rather than continuing to pile on the material until we come to a breaking point.

The key here is about balancing the body in light of these last twelve months. Looking honestly at our somatic systems and cleaning out what no longer needs to be there, focusing on experiences that require more integration, and intentionally claiming what still needs attention as the New Year rings in. The invitation is for you to listen to your body well. To understand where imbalances lie and take action to re-balance as part of this end-of-annum reflection. As always, attention to the physical body will translate to your state of mind and emotional well being.

Now certainly, this focus may seem a little antithetical to the overdrive quality that can often mark December, as holiday distractions bring of out-of-norm travel, parties, and shopping. All the more reason, I say, for us to consciously make an effort to slow down and honor all that has passed this year.

Come move with us in Boulder, if you are in the area, and we’ll share our 2011 experiences together. Otherwise, carry the torch of this intention through your month, setting yourself up well for a satisfying beginning to 2012. Invite your friends to join you so that there is force of attention and meaning behind your process. And remember that all of your experiences – however big, small, joyous, or painful – are relevant and worthy of acknowledgement.

« Read the poetry developed for December’s class topic

Image credit: “Contemplation” © Nathan Jon Tillet 2003

Winter has arrived
in her familiar, dutiful way.
And yet there is nothing usual
about what I feel stirring
just beneath my tingling skin.

There is much to contemplate here,
as the symphony of this season
finds its stride:
the air brisk and silent,
birds taking their most efficient flight,
trees dropping down to a mere whisper,
fox burrowing deeply into the steamy earth,
winter flowers reaching for waning strains of sunlight,
the ground shrouding delicate, slumbering roots.

In moments like these,
it is not hard to comprehend
why this time of year is to be
beloved, not feared.

Why every note
of every instrument
has been placed precisely as
summons to my soul,
benevolently reflecting
the calls of longing that
reverberate from depths of my soul.

It is clear now that my heart
has been waiting patiently
for the cycle of seasons to shift,
clearing the haze from my eyes,
ushering in this most
blessed time of year,
as I welcome the crisp vision and
impeccable hearing that emerge effortlessly
in the great spaces of winter’s silence.

when our precious sun
burrows deep beneath
the horizon line’s brow
long before the day feels done,
when the stories of
endless summer give way
to the mysterious breath
of Winter on our necks,
her dexterous dampening of sound
a mighty siren song
as we reenter
days marked by night.

when the beasts of our dreams
rise up to be seen more clearly,
wolves howl their wild song
from the belly of their souls,
millions of points of light
shine as silent beacons
in the thick of the black black night.

With this cloak of wintertime
falling fluidly over the shoulders
of your bursting, well-trodden days,
do not fall asleep.

Reach your arms out into the
shadows upon shadows before you,
shaping what lies there with
the heat of your trembling, seeking hands.

Find the song of your soul
and howl its refrain to the moon!

Rise up from the foot of your darkest shadow
and be revealed by the light of the stars!

Run wild in the moonless night
and remember all that you are!

For this is a precious time.
This is the Time of the Dark.

This month, we will take a look at our relationship to winter and what we can learn by engaging fully in a dialogue with her.

The winter months ask us to draw inward, slow our pace, recharge, reflect. From a eco-psychology perspective, winter represents a time of death. Inviting us to consider those things in our lives, in our psyches, that need to die so that we can rise from their ashes – moving toward the spring of rebirth. We have an opportunity to nestle into the cave of our own souls during this time, not sleeping or checking out, but activating and welcoming all that wishes to churn and burn.

What is your relationship to Wintertime? What challenges you during these weeks and months? What delights you? What do you resist? What do you embrace?

This broad set of questions is intended make way for deep investigation and insight. In the practice of BodyMantra, we always connect to the physical form – the body. How is your body responding to the change of seasons? What does it need to be in synch with the external environment, rather than rebelling against it? All of the changes in the outdoors invite us to shift gears and embrace a way of being in our bodies that is quite different than Spring, Summer, Autumn.

As always, once we tap authentically into the body and what it needs, the emotional and spiritual bodies open more fully. What needs to be tended in your system during these winter months? Are there events from the previous months that need more quiet attention and care? Is there a call for you to return to yourself after a season of outward play? How can this beautiful, slow, introspective season help to unfurl any stories of longing in your soul?

Through the practice of BodyMantra – cultivating presence, listening to the authentic voice of the body and spirit – we welcome our connection to the natural world, asking it to inform us, rather than us trying to escape it. So welcome this wintertime and all that it can offer!

« Read the poetry developed for November’s class topic

Initially, when I think about hibernation, I conjure the image of those brown bears. I imagine them sleeping for six months as they cycle through the excess fat that they accumulated during the Autumn months, not worrying much about being active. But, even with a slower heart rate and little-to-no movement, bears are accomplishing something very particular: they are recharging from the summer months of parenting and hunting. Allowing for the build-up of reserves during this period of rest and non-doing.

And so I turn to a contemplation of humans and hibernation. With all of the modern conveniences, the practices of hibernation are all but gone. No longer do we hunker down for the winter, wood-burning stoves alight as the days grow shorter, the available time to hunt and gather wood diminished. We are able to move around with relative comfort all day and night, traveling in cars, fed by electric light and grocery stores, keeping warm with jackets made of the latest tech fabrics.

So how can this notion of hibernation still serve?

It probably isn’t realistic for most of us to think about curling up for six months and ‘waiting it out.’ However, that doesn’t mean that we have to go all-out, burning the little reserves that we have after the long days of summer. Rather, we can look at how to wisely use this time to both rest and expand. Allowing ourselves to still be generative while recharging our batteries and dropping deeper roots in preparation for Spring in a few months’ time.

Consider assessing how you move through Wintertime. If you find yourself exhausted, yet still pushing, perhaps it is time to step back and look at how you can still accomplish the important things, while letting go of the things that simply cause mind chatter and keep you unnecessarily busy. There is a reason why the hours of light are shorter and the temperatures drop. They encourage us to go to bed an hour earlier than usual, to stay in for a nap on a Sunday afternoon, to drink in their silence and stillness.

There is much to learn by observing how Nature shape-shifts to embrace the seasonal tides. She is a wise guide, reminding us how to work with this hibernation time. We certainly don’t need to match the bears or the settlers of the Wild Winters of the West in their winter doings. However, we can be gracious in the dance with forces that are greater than us, inviting ourselves to expand into the comforting pace that comes with hibernation.

~

I mostly wake
from these dreams
curled into myself,
hands at my heart,
feet entwined,
breath even,
feeling the hum of
my mother’s song,
the warmth
of my beginnings,
the settling of
all worry.

As I set to my daily approach,
with burning calves and rosy cheeks,
I surrender to the burly, knotty extensions
that stream down the hillside,
burrowing into the wet earth for nourishment
with a periodic rise to the surface
for a breath of fresh air.

I am often drawn to meld my limbs
to this limbs of This One,
gently touching, caressing, climbing, suspending,
as it teaches me how to trust the infinite expanse
of its unwavering foundation,
to extend my body to its very edges
as my mind gives over to the passing winds.

Perched atop this primordial teacher,
an understanding of its long life is effortless,
for I can hear the whispers of folklore that
twine through its branches,
heralding the freedom of
boundless heights and flexibility
that spring from the sole act of
digging deep.

(Originally published March 2010)

BodyMantra partners with Reform Pilates from 9:00-3:00pm on Friday, November 4 as the studio shares a wide range of Pilates-based classes and products with the public. BodyMantra founder Kimberly Jonas will be present as part of the festivities, sharing BodyMantra Essential Oil Blends. Blends will be for sale throughout the day and Kimberly will assist you to select the perfect oil. Stop by for any part of the day and let us know what you think!

Visit Reform Pilates on the web for more details.

I am in love with what is mixed and impure
Doubtful, dark and hard to disencumber
I want beauty I must dig for, search for.

Pure beauty is beginning and not end
Begin with the sun and drop from sun to cloud
From cloud to tree, and from tree to earth itself

And deeper yet to the earths dark root.
I am in love with what resists my loving
With what I have to labor to make live.

- Robert Francis

You are always invited here.
To draw back the hardened shell
that protects this vast, intricate system,
reveal its pulsing, humidifying heat,
drink fully of the ancient lessons
quietly taught here.

How often do you move from your roots? Feel the length of your legs, the seat of your belly, and make choices in your life from those places? In our culture, we are often taught to use our strong minds to lead us, to listen to our intellect and make decisions from that place. And yet, when we solely listen to the mind, we neglect the wisdom that is housed in the lower part of the body – and beyond. The Root. As we connect to the Earth’s rhythms, feel our feet planted firmly on the ground, we tap into a different source of information and motivation that has the power to hold powerful manifestation in the world.

This month, we’ll be tending these roots. Feeling how we can both root down and move upward from our roots. Welcoming dialogue with our low belly, pelvis, legs, and feet. Feeling into the great taproot of our bodies and beings as we learn more about how we best root and where we up-root. An essential dialogue very much worth enriching and enlivening through focused inquiry.

« Read the poetry developed for October’s class topic

Tame the urge that
sits just beneath the
surface of your skin
to bombard her with
questions about
how she came to be,
why she does what she does,
and how she will next be
attending to you.

No, no. This is the time
for a slow, delicious spot of tea.
For you to sit comfortably with her
in the glow of the afternoon sun,
listen and observe.
Feel the cadence of her words,
even if you are convinced that
she speaks in a foreign tongue.
Take in every inch of her,
whatever form she has taken.
Suspend your belief that she
was supposed to deliver a missive
of clear and exacting intent.

For Providence can be a
sensitive one:
she will as quickly leave
as she did arrive
should her keen and present offerings
not be considered in earnest.

Join us for a local celebration of Autumn in its full ripeness, immediately following BodyMantra class on Saturday, October 8. We’ll gather to share our favorite fall dishes and stories of the summer.
« Email us for directions

What a gorgeous time it was this past weekend in Boulder, Colorado, the air turning a bit more brisk and the smells of Autumn beginning to fill the air in earnest. As many of us gathered at the sacred Starhouse in the hills above Boulder proper, we were greeted by numerous questions of the soul. We anointed ourselves and the space throughout the weekend with the BodyMantra oil Forge, considering and discussing the meaning of this powerful verb.

Upon first utterance, forge seems to imply a single-minded commitment to moving forward. Perhaps almost relentless. I forge through the woods, hacking down brush and bramble all the way. Or, I forge through challenges with my head held high and an eye toward success. With that tenor attached to the word, I feel immediately weary.

And so I offer another perspective for you to consider: the actual process of forging metal. If you have ever seen a traditional blacksmith at work, you know that he works with particular tools: a very hot fire, a hammer and anvil, and a vessel of water. The process involves super-heating the metal, hammering it into a desired form, and cooling it in the water. This pattern of steps repeats many times as the blacksmith considers each strike carefully, pausing periodically to contemplate the next right step as he gradually shapes a new form.

Just as the blacksmith forges metal, we can think of forging in our lives in much the same way: The careful, active shaping of something that lies before us, combined with periods of cooling off and reflection. This view, then, gives us permission to rest between periods of intentional activity so that we can consider what steps come next, integrating the choices we have made along the way.

From this perspective, forging feels much like a process, rather than a means to an end or a blind commitment to getting something accomplished, no matter the consequence. It implies that we must find the balance between hot, forward motion, and cooling, restful contemplation. Consider welcoming this view into your consciousness and see if a bit of relief and ease come your way as you forge ahead in the coming days.

Could this be God speaking to you?

Asking that her voice be heard
with as much humanness as you embody,
so that she is not made into
something of the Other World that
can never be attained?

I have no answer for you, Beloved.

I can only offer that perhaps
this is God speaking as you,
your body the luminous instrument of
all things Divine.

What causes you to hesitate?
Or to hurry on with little consideration
of the preciousness of each step?
Watch the mind, Friend.
For it might first apply to you as ally,
holding you tenderly in
the wide gap between strides,
before it cunningly shapeshifts into the wrench
that can quickly become
the undoing of this brilliant show,
falsely editing the true tale of
who you are in this world.

With Goethe’s reflection in mind – that we must take that first, courageous step of committing in order for Providence to be set in motion – we will be invited this month to focus on a single commitment. You may have many things happening in your life these days, inspiring many visions and invitations for new commitments. Invite yourself to choose just one focus from the many, or to distill those myriad things into a common commitment, and move with it for the entire month.

This does not mean, by any stretch, that this will be a static experience. On the contrary. Invite your commitment to hone itself through dynamic investigation: understanding where you are still wavering, noticing where you lack precision and clarity about what you are committing to, welcoming doubts and fears, opening to unexpected serendipity and ah-ha’s that stem from your commitment, drawing in the tingles of excitement, curiosity and joy as they arise along the way.

It is important to feel all of the facets of this commitment as it moves through us, getting our limiting mind out of the equation, so that we can be in the full expanse of what is Possible once we actively commit to something.

In your movement practice, allow yourself to be moved by all of the questions and emotions that stir in you as you deepen into this one commitment. Where do you resist in your body? Where do you feel new openings? Are you allowing your body to speak fully, even move into uncharted territory, however foreign or scary? What are the gestures of comfort and ease that can act as foundation as you broaden your perspectives?

Though we will likely start with a commitment of the mind, we must continue on into the embodiment of that commitment. Asking our cells to imprint that dedication, which will eventually move us from being in the idea of the commitment, and truly living that commitment as a natural extension of who we are.

And the sheer fact is: This principle that Goethe asserts has not failed me. I may have failed it, periodically misplacing Faith, brushing off major moves of Providence as minor, and entertaining busy-mind thoughts that often spiraled into the cavernous wondering What’s it all for? All of these things asking me to re-commit, again and again.

In the end, I have been met. In every way imaginable and beyond. No, my commitments didn’t come solely in the form of carefully-phrased words spoken every day from the comfort of my favorite chair (though there was plenty of that). There was blood, sweat and tears. Periods of anger, frustration and fear. Moments of ease, grace and magic. All reminding me what it feels like to truly commit. To feel the pulse of sure and certain commitment coursing through my veins. To know the aliveness of trusting courageously.

And where I am, 365 days later, is nothing I could have designed on my own. The map that has emerged and emblazoned itself on my life’s canvas is pure genius, better than any topographic scribbles I might have attempted.

Standing here with Goethe by my side, as I commit yet again, I challenge you to commit. Really commit. Especially to those things that make you hesitate that one extra second. Step over the threshold. Fully. Feel the power of all that you can conjure with one, clear commitment. Allow yourself to be dazzled and amazed… pierced straight through the heart by Providence.

Until one is committed,
there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative and creation
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sort of things occur
to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor
all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance,
which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.
Whatever you can do,
or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius,
power and magic in it.

~ Goethe

Saturday | 7:00-9:00pm

Visit renowned yoga studio Dharma Yoga in Austin, Texas for an evening of BodyMantra exploration. Dovetailing with the powerful teachings at this lovely studio, Kimberly will guide us through a passage marked by movement and stillness, asking our bodies to welcome the organic expression of unstructured, heart-led movement that stems from the longings and knowings of the body.

Space for this event is limited. Please contact the studio to register.

Join us before and after classes at Dharma Yoga during the day, November 5 – including before and after the BodyMantra event – as Kimberly shares the full line of BodyMantra Essential Oil Blends. Products will be for sale during this time, and Kimberly will be present to assist you in selecting just the right blend for you!

We have but to remember
and seize these moments rising
between the spaces of our toes
as the feet dance on.

As the night wears on,
the clock striking
well past midnight,
there is one thing
that allows us to
leap and glide
effortlessly, endlessly,
feeding the hungry heart
a steady stream of
unexpected delights,
dousing weary eyes with
tears of joy,
calming the frantic mind
that wonders if it’s yet time
to retire for good.

Yes, dears, it is our
old, wise friend of
childhood days past
that keeps us standing tall,
the one that reminds us
what it is to imagine,
to rediscover tirelessness
amidst a tableau of
wild, spinning dancers.

Curiosity
is in the house.

But what about the days when you are fully booked, fully in motion, fully active? Do you make time to find rest in the midst of the doing, to find ways of sustaining a long day without having to load up on caffeine or “just get through it”?

This month, we will explore this very question. About how we can create a sense of rest and integration even while we are in motion. How is it that we can take forward steps in the world – presenting at a meeting, picking up the kids, stopping for groceries on the way home – and end the day with a sense of satisfaction, rather than exhaustion? Of course, there is always that after-work run to blow off steam, a hot shower or bath, or an early bedtime that can bring a certain level of repair. And, what if there is a way to track and repair throughout the day so that we can experience an even deeper level of rejuvenation through our sleep time?

As always, we will present this question to ourselves in the context of the body. Through movement exploration, learning what movements and gestures help us to recharge in the midst of motion, understanding how the breath can impact our reserves, and embracing the possibility that running on adrenaline is not the only way to move through busy times.

Our bodies have the possibility to develop and maintain tremendous reserves – that can both be tapped and refilled while we keep on with our lives. It is up to us to listen for the ways in which this can happen – and the warning signs that it is not.

« Read the poetry developed for August’s class topic

Imploring you
to gather
all that is
disparate,
all that has
wandered away,
all that is
disintegrated,
lying about
in parts.

So that you may
remember
what it is
to be complete,
allow your
whole self
to live
in the world.

Why continue to carry
this basket of roaming parts
that will eventually
make their way to your
vulnerable heart,
and it too will come
tumbling down?

Only this warm human body
can truly know
what it is to be wholled,
far away from the
unsteady architecture
of the mind,
feeling the clear truth of
heartbeat and bare feet
on the cool grass.

To answer the inexplicable
irresistible impulse
to break into a wild sprint,
jumping nimbly over
fallen branches,
splashing through
chilled narrows of
mountain waters,
weaving deftly through
brambles and underbrush,
sweet satisfaction coursing
through our veins.

It is when this sprint
becomes barely intact,
each step less stable
than the one before,
when we risk tears
to our delicate skin and
breaks to our bones,
that we must kindly
slow our pace,
relinquish the rush of
blowing by wise old trees
and disregarding the
chorus of ants underneath
our blazing feet.

This is the cue that it is time
to temper our urgency and
building blindness.

To draw in the exquisite surrounds of
spiders scaling untamed vines,
birds trilling their love
for one another,
black bear mama roaring
in protection of her children.

To listen for the sound of
our own breath,
dragonfly wings drawing spirals
in the dense afternoon air,
clouds coasting across
the cyan-blue sky.

It is time to
saunter through the
dappled sunlight
of shaking aspen,
feeling each impression that we make
in the damp, loamy earth,
inviting this pregnant landscape
to pollinate us with its slow wisdom
as we prepare for
the next exhilarating sprint.

And so, the invitation for Integration feels timely. Reminding us of the importance of taking time to scan the inventory of all that we have recently conjured, created, and initiated and allow for integration along the way. Consciously giving our systems time to more fully appreciate all that it is experiencing before we add more to our plate.

If we do not periodically rest and consider how we are responding to major shifts in our lives, we run the risk of putting on blinders and ignoring the importance of all that is unfolding. Adpoting a “just get through it” attitude. Eventually, this mind-set can lead us to feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and lack of fulfillment. Alternatively, if we take the time to look at all facets of what is transpiring in our lives, rather than charging ahead without pause, we give ourselves the opportunity to course-correct along the way. To respond to what is truly happening in any given moment so that we remain aligned and awake.

Integrate what? you may ask. Take a moment to consider what new situations have presented themselves in the last number of weeks. Perhaps even those things that you initiated through your BodyMantra explorations. Changes at work. New frontiers in your relationship. Planning a wedding. Your child becoming a teen. A health crisis.

All of these situations – among myriad others – beg us to take stock and assure that we are fully absorbing their import, reflecting along the way. This reflection and active quest for understanding often feel like a sigh of relief in the body, for they assist in the dissipation of confusion and unsettled feelings that often accompany an overly-busy life.

True integration invites depth of feeling and experience. And that depth is what keeps us on the path of consciousness. Not to mention creating a greater sense of overall fulfillment and ease as we discard tendencies toward avoidance or denial.

As always, we will ask the body to show us the way in this inquiry. Noticing where we feel ungrounded or confused. Where the body seems uncomfortable or numb. These reflections will act as cues for understanding where in our lives we are not fully integrated. We will invite the body to explore what it is to open fully to all that it is experiencing, with no need to hurry onto the next thing before we have fully completed and integrated where we are right now.

« Read the poetry developed for July’s class topic

This concept of Biting Through came originally from a card in the Oracle Card Deck that I often use. In the reference book for the deck, Biting Through relates to the idea of using a scalpel to cleanly cut through that which is in excess, or prevents us from moving forward. As opposed to a rusty, dull knife, which creates more pain and takes more time.

We are invited, through this imagery, to consider our lives carefully. Where are we carrying excess? What relationships are outdated or in need of more clear boundaries? Are there patterns of our own behavior that need to shift or be shed?

As we have progressed through this investigation, I have been speaking in classes about the idea of the warrior’s sword, in place of the scalpel. Reminding us that we all have a sword that can be drawn, metaphorically, to help us slice through situations with conviction. This is not about violent action or anger-filled behaviors (though anger may be the rightful, original fuel for taking action), but rather about compassion. If there is a call to put an end to something that is causing stagnation, pain, or confusion, the sword becomes the tool of compassion. Making a clean cut so that suffering is reduced.

At one point in the month, a BodyMantra participant spoke about the actual image of Biting Through and how that in and of itself was an arresting notion. That biting into something – particularly something gritty or tough – requires us to then go beyond the act of biting through, but then to the chewing and the digestion. Implying that Biting Through isn’t always clean, but often requires us to work with our choice, chew on it, be with the texture of the outcome. And what strong medicine this image brought to our inquiry of Biting Through – giving us permission to experience the not-so-cleanness that can come with decisive action.

And so the inquiry evolved yet another time. As I considered this notion of biting, chewing, digesting for myself, I started to feel exhausted. Realizing that the acts of drawing and wielding a sword and chewing on something tough or challenging requires a level of vigilance that can feel draining and overwhelming at times. Of course, this begs the notion of resting. Of stepping back and integrating all that we are tending in this way. A worthy topic to consider. However, though my mind was telling me that the logical choice was to turn away from this tiring practice, that is not what arose from my exhaustion.

Just as I was ready to succumb to frustration, throw up my hands, and walk away… something surprising happened.

I was speaking to a beloved friend of mine about something very dear to my heart. It was clear that Biting Through was required. That I needed to speak some truths in order for us to come closer together. But what came was not the sword. Not the biting through with teeth, tongue and mouth.

Tears.

I felt the warmth of tears pouring down my cheeks as I spoke Truth. Feeling both fear and grief as my tears became a tool of expression. As I wept and spoke my deepest feelings with clarity, I realized that my tears were my sword. That these saline drops were meant for Biting Through in a way that a blade could never do. I came to the realization that moving through challenging situations does not always require a scalpel, a sword, or the act of biting and chewing. That tears can slice through with their own strength and wisdom. That the grace of tears honestly shed and words clearly spoken, together, can keep us on decisive forward path… releasing us from the need to only wield a sword to Bite Through.

Until this moment,
when my heart started to
speak to me in another tone,
a gently insistent summons
to carefully consider
each circumstance of expression
as an open-ended request
that may or may not
be the next partner
on my dance card.

Following on the heels of our May exploration of vows, it seems appropriate to consider where Biting Through is required, assisting us to fiercely stand in the truth and enactment of our most cherished declarations and intentions.

In the extended reading for this card, there is a reference to the difference between cutting something with a scalpel versus a dull, weak knife. And so the questions arise: Where is the scalpel necessary? Are there places in my life where ‘force applied with sensitivity’ is required? Where am I avoiding or not seeing the need for decisive action?

Of course, as always, this brings up a two -sided coin. For every consideration of using the scapel – drawing the sword – there is an equal consideration for stepping back, taking the bird’s eye view and assessing a situation before taking any kind of action. Much like a surgeon, one must carefully consider where a cut is going to be made so that precision is assured.

And so our month will take us right into the folds of this card’s imagery, as the fiery dragon wraps around us and asks us to fiercely tend all that is important to us, using the sword where necessary and standing in a compassionate gesture of patience where necessary. We will trust our bodies to find the balance between the two, as we uncover our natural tendencies – perhaps you are a natural sword-wielder, perhaps not – and ask for the wisdom to see where Biting Through can serve.

To read poetry associated with this month’s exploration, visit the BodyMantra Poetry Page.

Be assured:
you will not be alone.

For every smoldering soul
knows the shackles
forged with passing time,
and we are many.

We will stand
behind you,
beside you,
as you,
ready to free our
bruised wrists
and weary bodies.

Rise and speak from the
soles of your feet,
my friend!

Everything alive in you
must be given breath,
its wild, fiery overtones
spiraling from the depths,
erupting through
every pore of your body,
so that you may stand
unfettered, unrestrained,
fully emancipated.

She asked
what I am most
committed to.

Feeling the pressure
of talking to God,
I chose my words carefully:
I am committed to
all actions and thoughts
virtuous,
to compassion in
every moment,
precision as remedy
to fault.

She nodded just once
and I prepared to
thank her
for recognizing
such a noble pledge.

Before I could speak,
She asked:
And what is
your practice
of such oaths?

Perplexed,
I wondered aloud
if my high intentions
were not enough.

And God simply said:
True vows
must be fully lived
beyond words and mind.